As I see it

I've moved

2010-08-20T12:39:00.003-04:00

Well, I decided to migrate this blog on over to Wordpress. After using this template and service for nearly six years, I needed a fresh start. All of the old posts have been moved as well, but I haven't been able to figure out how to move the comments. Without further ago, here's the new location of my blog:

As I see it, Wordpress version.

2009-09-11T08:25:00.001-04:00

Eight Years On...

A MOMENT OF SILENCE, BEFORE I START THIS POEM

Before I start this poem, I'd like to ask you to join me
In a moment of silence
In honor of those who died in the World Trade Center and the
Pentagon last September 11th.
I would also like to ask you
To offer up a moment of silence
For all of those who have been harassed, imprisoned,
disappeared, tortured, raped, or killed in retaliation for those strikes,
For the victims in both Afghanistan and the U.S.

And if I could just add one more thing...
A full day of silence
For the tens of thousands of Palestinians who have died at the
hands of U.S.-backed Israeli
forces over decades of occupation.
Six months of silence for the million and-a-half Iraqi people,
mostly children, who have died of
malnourishment or starvation as a result of an 11-year U.S.
embargo against the country.

Before I begin this poem,
Two months of silence for the Blacks under Apartheid in South Africa,
Where homeland security made them aliens in their own country.
Nine months of silence for the dead in Hiroshima and Nagasaki,
Where death rained down and peeled back every layer of
concrete, steel, earth and skin
And the survivors went on as if alive.
A year of silence for the millions of dead in Vietnam - a people,
not a war - for those who
know a thing or two about the scent of burning fuel, their
relatives' bones buried in it, their babies born of it.
A year of silence for the dead in Cambodia and Laos, victims of
a secret war ... ssssshhhhh....
Say nothing ... we don't want them to learn that they are dead.
Two months of silence for the decades of dead in Colombia,
Whose names, like the corpses they once represented, have
piled up and slipped off our tongues.

Before I begin this poem.
An hour of silence for El Salvador ...
An afternoon of silence for Nicaragua ...
Two days of silence for the Guatemaltecos ...
None of whom ever knew a moment of peace in their living years.
45 seconds of silence for the 45 dead at Acteal, Chiapas
25 years of silence for the hundred million Africans who found
their graves far deeper in the ocean than any building could
poke into the sky.
There will be no DNA testing or dental records to identify their remains.
And for those who were strung and swung from the heights of
sycamore trees in the south, the north, the east, and the west...

100 years of silence...
For the hundreds of millions of indigenous peoples from this half
of right here,
Whose land and lives were stolen,
In postcard-perfect plots like Pine Ridge, Wounded Knee, Sand
Creek,
Fallen Timbers, or the Trail of Tears.
Names now reduced to innocuous magnetic poetry on the
refrigerator of our consciousness ...

So you want a moment of silence?
And we are all left speechless
Our tongues snatched from our mouths
Our eyes stapled shut
A moment of silence
And the poets have all been laid to rest
The drums disintegrating into dust.

Before I begin this poem,
You want a moment of silence
You mourn now as if the world will never be the same
And the rest of us hope to hell it won't be. Not like it always has
been.

Because this is not a 9/11 poem.
This is a 9/10 poem,
It is a 9/9 poem,
A 9/8 poem,
A 9/7 poem
This is a 1492 poem.

This is a poem about what causes poems like this to be written.
And if this is a 9/11 poem, then:
This is a September 11th poem for Chile, 1971.
This is a September 12th poem for Steven Biko in South Africa,
1977.
This is a September 13th poem for the brothers at Attica Prison,
New York, 1971.
This is a September 14th poem for Somalia, 1992.
This is a poem for every date that falls to the ground in ashes
This is a poem for the 110 stories that were never told
The 110 stories that history chose not to write in textbooks
The 110 stories that CNN, BBC, The New York Times, and
Newsweek ignored.
This is a poem for interrupting this program.

And still you want a moment of silence for your dead?
We could give you lifetimes of empty:
The unmarked graves
The lost languages
The uprooted trees and histories
The dead stares on the faces of nameless children
Before I start this poem we could be silent forever
Or just long enough to hunger,
For the dust to bury us
And you would still ask us
For more of our silence.

If you want a moment of silence
Then stop the oil pumps
Turn off the engines and the televisions
Sink the cruise ships
Crash the stock markets
Unplug the marquee lights,
Delete the instant messages,
Derail the trains, the light rail transit.

If you want a moment of silence, put a brick through the window
of Taco Bell,
And pay the workers for wages lost.
Tear down the liquor stores,
The townhouses, the White Houses, the jailhouses, the
Penthouses and the Playboys.

If you want a moment of silence,
Then take it
On Super Bowl Sunday,
The Fourth of July
During Dayton's 13 hour sale
Or the next time your white guilt fills the room where my beautiful
people have gathered.

You want a moment of silence
Then take it NOW,
Before this poem begins.
Here, in the echo of my voice,
In the pause between goosesteps of the second hand,
In the space between bodies in embrace,
Here is your silence.
Take it.
But take it all...Don't cut in line.
Let your silence begin at the beginning of crime. But we,
Tonight we will keep right on singing...For our dead.

EMMANUEL ORTIZ, 11 Sep 2002.

2009-08-14T22:58:00.003-04:00

A texting conversation between Tyler and I on Wednesday evening. All grammar and punctuation is accurately represented below.

Tyler: What? There’s so chien gion! Have you ever had that?

Eric: Sounds tasty… Did you try it?

Tyler: It’s delicious! Like popcorn.

Eric: Mmm… Sounds similar to my ca linh chien gion… or my fish french fries

Tyler: What? Where did you get those? Or make them? Meanwhile after those years of teasing at…? I’m finally eating kangaroo. what was the name of that place in LX?

Eric: What place in LX? Are you tipsy now?

Tyler: What? My grammar was very correct in that one. I was carefully reconstructing it.

Eric: Just the fact that you were editing it carefully says something about your sobriety

Tyler: Haha, seriously. Because i had a different construction. Proving carefully i am sober… which is true.

Eric: You’re reminding me of an onion article… I’ll have to look it up and send it to you

Tyler: Haha, ok. Save these texts for our future website. Which reminds me if we wanted to start some ‘project’ here i just found a great website. I’ll send you a link tomorrow.

Eric: Sounds intriguing…

And just for the record, here are the two websites that we had in mind:

Eric's link: http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/area_man_uses_big_buck

Tyler's link: http://www.kickstarter.com/

2009-07-26T04:02:00.002-04:00

After what seemed like a month of cloudy and drizzly days here in Long Xuyen, it's been sunny and warm the past couple of days, which I certainly have appreciated.

This summer I've been keeping a very hectic schedule and trying to save a little money. What I mean by hectic is that I work from 8 a.m. to 8 or 8:30 p.m., depending on the day, Monday through Friday. However, I don't work straight through the day and have some nice breaks and try to squeeze in some badminton time when possible too.

And speaking of badminton, this morning (Sunday), I was invited to go shopping for badminton clothes, and ended up with my first badminton shirt, along with some badminton shorts that are approaching the "uncomfortably short" length. I'll try them out this afternoon when I go work on my smashing skills...

2009-07-04T04:17:00.002-04:00

It's been awhile since I last updated this blog, and since I've been in a new residence for the past month or so, I thought I'd post some pictures of the new place that I call home.

A former student of mine, Phuong, recently opened a shop in a market area of Long Xuyen. However, the house that she's renting has a few extra floors, and she said that I could rent a floor if I wanted. As I was waiting for the documents to be finalized at the Construction Department (I really don't understand the ridiculous laws in this province concerning foreigners renting houses), I was notified by my previous landlord (the room near the lake) that I had one day to vacate the room. So, kind of in a rush, I moved to this new place, and here are a few pictures. And the documents are finally finished so I'm very legally living here now.

The sign of the shop as seen from the street.

The nerve center of the shop. From left to right: Duyen, shop assistant; Phuong, owner and my landlord; Tin, salesman and newly avid English student.

Looking up the staircase from the first floor (I live on the third floor).

My bathroom, small but adequate. Those are frozen hot dogs thawing in the sink. Today is the Forth of July after all...

The entrance to my room.

The front hall.

My bedroom.

Another view of the bedroom.

The main room.

Another angle in the main room.

A view from my balcony.

2009-05-14T05:35:00.002-04:00

I'm sitting in an air-conditioned cafe near my residence watching the motorbikes and bicycles pass by on the street as the warm afternoon draws to a close and the warm Long Xuyen evening begins. Over the past couple of months I've been eating more "standard" Vietnamese food for lunch. When I worked at An Giang University, I tended to stick to a cafe near campus and the line-up of foods was pretty standard for me, like rice with grilled pork or a fried egg with a sardine in tomato sauce. However, more recently a guy who works in the office below my room has been inviting me to have lunch with him and I've been eating quite a few different things that I rarely used to eat during my previous tenure here in Long Xuyen.

One thing that I really do enjoy is the intensity of the flavors of some of the things I eat. I think I'm obsessed with dipping things in fish sauce into which I've chopped a fresh chili pepper; it certainly adds a different zest than A1 sauce, for example. Another thing that I've taken to eating almost every day now is something that's translated as bitter melon in English. As the name suggests, it has a very bitter flavor that I've grown to love, and it's even better when I dunk it in the fish sauce-chili concoction that I mentioned above.

I've taken to eating more fish as well, which is something that I used to avoid at all costs before because of the profuse number of bones that one has to contend with. However, with some help and lots of observation, I'm slowly learning the ways to pick bits of fish flesh from the bones and eat it with little or no danger of choking to death.

2009-04-22T04:56:00.002-04:00

The first significant rain of the year. It's been sweltering lately, including today at lunchtime. Yesterday I went to lunch with a couple friends and one of them said that it was 38 degrees Celsius out (for those of you still back in the States, 38 Celsius is 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit). So imagine the weather being over 100 degrees every day for at least two weeks, along with the air brimming with humidity that comes before the rainy season, along with several days were the sky made some pathetic attempts to rain. I think it was affecting the mental well-being of people, not only me...

Well, after sweating my way through lunch and coffee today, I was teaching the noisy kids and I saw the lightning and heard the thunder. And then, finally, I heard the rain start to fall. Not only heavily but also consistently, which is what has been lacking for so long.

At the moment it's been raining about 1.5 hours and it's tapering off, but still drizzling. The atmosphere has changed, like the humidity has been sucked out, and it feels so much cooler.

However, the rain also brings wet motorbike seats and flooded streets (remember that Long Xuyen is only like 2 meters [again, for those in the States, 2 meters is almost the same as 2 yards] above sea level. But right now I'm enjoying the relief from the heat.

Exercising in the Orient

2009-03-29T08:10:00.001-04:00

I received an invitation to play badminton nearly two months ago, and after making excuses for some time, I finally agreed to give the sport a shot. So far I’ve been to play a few times now, and it’s fun, even though I end up sore and soaked with sweat.

Badminton is best played indoors so that the shuttlecock isn’t affected by the wind (even though there is hardly ever what I’d call a brisk wind in Long Xuyen). One of these arenas is near the People’s Committee for the city. It looks like the auditorium was initially intended for basketball, but now five badminton courts are set up on the floor of the gymnasium.

The building itself looks like it was meant for something else; there are two unused rooms near the main doors that were intended for selling tickets that are now locked and full of junk. And because there can’t be any wind, the windows at the top of the building are mostly kept closed. The building seems almost like a ruin or an artifact of some kind. It has a feeling of ancientness about it with peeling and faded paint and dust-covered cement bleachers.

For me especially, after I’ve been moving and sweating for 15 or 20 minutes, the atmosphere inside this monstrous building feels like a sauna or a sweat lodge. Every pore of my body drips sweat and everything that I’m wearing is soaked within a few minutes. And because there can’t be any wind, the doors are kept closed and there are no fans, and of course no air-conditioning.

It was an interesting experience the first time I went there. I thought I would only encounter strangers, but instead I ran into several people who have studied or are studying English with me, and since then I've even struck up a few conversations with people I don’t know.

So after leading a mostly sedentary life for years, I’m giving badminton in the monstrous sauna a try.

2009-02-26T22:00:00.003-05:00

Some new stuff:

-My second-hand iron horse. I haven't thought of a name for her yet, but sometimes I think of her as "The Beast," mainly due to the red lights that glow from near the engine at night. My only critique is that it's lacking some low-end torque, but I just need to get the RPMs up and she flies.

-My nicely appointed room near the man-made lake in the middle of town.

It's already getting my own personal messy touch, but it's great to have a place that's legal after living in a combination of three different houses and three different hotels in Long Xuyen over the past five months.

The view from my balcony:

Oh yeah, and I'm 26 now. I was quite surprised by all the birthday wishes that came my way, but my cynical side gives credit to facebook for reminding a lot of people... But regardless, thanks everyone. Come visit me!!!

2009-01-29T23:32:00.004-05:00

Some brief recollections about my fourth Tet in Vietnam...

I got a few days off from work before the lunar new year and shot up to HCMC with friends for a couple days of fun and seeing old friends and eating pizza (which I'd been without for like five months and really craving). However, as I learned the morning after eating a greasy Pizza Hut pizza that your stomach really needs to be conditioned first and had a nice stomach ache.

After a couple days of madness and fast food in the big city five of us found seats on a bus back to The LX. Tyler and I had an invitation from the vice-chairman of the province to come visit his house, and we made it back in time for me to take a shower before heading out to his house for a nice evening of seeing some old friends and students and sipping beers and a special kind of dark purple rice wine from some central province that I can't seem to remember the name of.

For the lunar new year's eve they shoot off fireworks in LX, and I'd made arrangements to meet up with some of my former students to find a good vantage point to view them.

At our agreed vantage point in downtown LX, we had a nice view of the streets that were absolutely packed with motorbikes to the point where they couldn't move, much less cars. There were even a couple ambulances stuck in the mess that could barely move even with the help of the police.

(note the taxi stuck in the middle and unable to move)

But finally, about 10:20 p.m., we got to see what we were waiting for. The fireworks began blasting off of the roof of the Dong Xuyen Hotel, one of the tallest buildings in LX. And they kept blasting and going. At one point we thought they were finished, even though it didn't really seem like a finale, and then they started up again...

The first day of the lunar new year I went to visit an old friend who was on duty because he works for the government, this led to eventually going back to his house and meeting other friends, some old for me and some new. After that, I was invited to a quick coffee but after a short time was called away again to another friend's house for a few more beers before turning in.

The second day of the year of the golden buffalo was nice and relaxing and I was feeling lazy but was eventually convinced to go sing karaoke with a former student and a former colleague that I'd never gotten to know well. The place had a very nice selection of English songs and after singing for a couple hours we went and had a dish that I hadn't had for ages: beef grilled on a roofing tile. It might sound slightly weird if you aren't familiar with it, but for those of you who've had it, you know what I mean...

The third day of the lunar new year Tyler was back in LX with his fiancee responding to an invitation from the vice-rector of An Giang University. I arrived at 9 a.m. and was greeted by a bottle of brandy which descended into visiting two more friends' houses, including a Mr. Trang, one of my oldest friends in LX. He and his wife have a new two-month old baby, and he was joyous.

Our final activity for the day was more singing of karaoke, and I got back to my room slightly after midnight.

For the past few days I've been taking it nice and easy and I'm back to work tomorrow.

In final conclusion: Happy New Year!

----------------
Now playing: Ramblin' Jack Elliott - Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues
via FoxyTunes

2009-01-07T03:53:00.002-05:00

There have been so many things since I last updated this blog months ago. Every time I thought about updating, I just felt more and more overwhelmed with things to write, and kept putting everything off. But there are two major things to note now, if one wishes to be "updated" on my life:

-One: I've been to Europe
-Two: I'm back in Long Xuyen and have a job as an English teacher in a private center, which pays much more than volunteering ever did

The latest issue that I've been waltzing with is that of housing. When I first came to Long Xuyen, I was living in my manager's house. After a few days there, I was informed that I had to move on police orders. After that I was living in a house along with two other Filipino teachers, but the house was far from downtown, hot and noisy. Finally, I found house for rent for less than 200 USD a month, and I also found a French roommate. The two of us lived there for around a month and a half before the landlord finally got scared of the laws of the province and gave us three days to leave. As it had taken me a month to find the house for rent in the first place, I knew I couldn't find a place in four days. So for the past several days I've been living in a hotel (where having cable TV is very distracting) and waiting for the paperwork to be finished so I can move to a well-appointed room that overlooks the lake in town.

I still enjoy my life here in this small city that was once described in a guidebook as "the black hole of the delta." I never cease to be greeting with smiles from people of all ages and have several times been surprised when I am told that people know me even though they've never met me.

However the holidays were rather meager for me as I only got one day off for Christmas and another day off for New Years. I suppose that I should just get used to things like that as doctors and police don't get holidays off either.

And I've been wondering what career path in the future is actually meant for me. I still enjoy teaching, but I don't have as much freedom in my current job as I did when I worked for the university. Sometimes I think back to the time I spent as a reporter in Ohio and wonder if I could write in Vietnam. I was in email contact with Lonely Planet, but finally was told that I hadn't been accepted to write for them either. Oh well, so it goes. At least in this place my patience isn't being stressed and squeezed to the point of breaking like it was back in the states.

So, this wasn't much of a detailed update, but I'll try to keep them coming more regularly now.

2008-11-10T00:13:00.000-05:00

If anyone still checks this, sorry about the lack of updates. However, I am still alive and well and when I'm a bit more settled the whole story will be told...
-Eric

2008-09-07T18:23:00.003-04:00

If you're wondering why I'm leaving the country, just listen to one of the great songs by Bob Dylan:

Just Like Tom Thumbs Blues

Pay attention to these lyrics:
"Everybody said they'd stand behind me when the game got rough,
But the joke was on me there was nobody even there to bluff,
I'm going back to New York City I do believe I've had enough."

Just replace "New York City" with "Ho Chi Minh City" and it's my case.

2008-09-04T09:17:00.005-04:00

The Republicans are convening in Minnesota this week, which means speeches that don't make a lot of sense and more attack ads airing on TV against Barack Obama. The latest thing that's I've been noticing in the stupid speeches and these pointless attack ads is the issue of taxes. These attack ads are kind of humorous in a way, until you realize that the idiots voting are actually going to believe them.

So, in the ads and the speeches the Republicans, desperately trying to cling to the power that they once had, are saying that Democrats will raise taxes. And they keep repeating this. And this is the oldest Republican play in the book: Accuse the democrats of raising taxes. If anyone cares to remember, when Bush took office in early 2001, he pushed through his agenda of cutting taxes so that people like my family got $300, while families that made much more money got a rebate of like $40,000. That's how the Republicans cut taxes, with most of the money going to the wealthy. The Democrats' plan is to increase taxes on businesses (their sole job is to make money, not exist) and families that make over $250,000 a year. If your family makes less than that amount, your taxes will actually go down. Due to the fact that the majority of Americans make far less than $250,000, I would think that the majority of voters would back the Democrats' plan.

However, the Republican attack machine just keeps saying in ads and speeches that the Democrats' are going to raise taxes. These ads and speeches don't give any details, they just try to place Democrats and taxes in the same like of thinking. And the very sad and unfortunate thing is that I'm sure some people will not vote for the Democrats because of these ads, and miss out on a chance for a tax cut because they were lied to by the Republicans.

Another separate issue that I would like to address at this point, is all of the politicians' talk about the so-called "middle class." This nearly mythical class of people seems to need constant placation in speeches. However, this class is in reality, nearly non-existent. However, politicians in both parties talk and talk about this class, saying they need tax breaks and opportunities, etc. Politicians hope that people continue to identify themselves with the middle class in order to propagate the republic-military-capitalism system. If people don't identify themselves with the middle class, they fall into one of two categories: the haves or have nots. If the nation was divided into one of these groups, the latter far outnumbers the former, and social unrest would ensue, thus leading to the revolution of the masses that we all desperately want, but no one wants to lead.

If you read any of the data on income trends, you will notice that the gap between rich and poor has grown over the last century. Because of capitalism's grasp over this nation and most of the Western world, it will only be a matter of time before the have nots stand up and say: "Enough!" The dream of a classless society is achievable within our lifetimes.

2008-08-27T11:24:00.000-04:00

On why I’m leaving

Quality of Life
Life, as I’ve rediscovered it in Ohio, is sub par. Sure there are nice people, but there is no community and connections are very hard to forge. I seem to find that everyone here is stuck doing the same things that they’ve done for ages, and because of this repetition their souls and intellect have decayed to the point of never wanting to try new things or to open their minds to different perspectives. I think of T.S. Eliot’s theories as I go through my routines and see everyone else doing the same thing they’ve been doing for god knows how long and wonder why people can bear to put up with it all. Also, winter isn’t as romantic as I remember

Cost of living
This is the most frustrating aspect of life in America. I can’t afford to regularly go out for coffee or meals if I ever hope to save any money. I can’t afford to travel to see friends because transportation costs. Luckily, I’ve been able to live rent-free for the time I’ve been here, and I’m grateful for this money-saving scheme. I can’t believe the costs associated with some rather basic products and services and the wages that I receive in this hopeless state. I make eight dollars an hour as a reporter, and then I took the second job delivering pizzas at seven dollars per hour. When you factor in the price of gas and food and other necessities, I can understand why some people simply give up. For one example of the costs here, I paid 200 dollars for a local shop to frame two pictures, and when I brought them home, they weren’t even assembled well and I had to finish the job at home. Another example is tires. I had to pay nearly $320 for tires on the car when they needed replaced. And this brings me to by next point.

Transportation
I cannot believe the costs associated with just getting around in this nation. Couple this with the complete lack of transportation options in this nation, and you end up throwing money into a bottomless hole known as a gas tank. And then there are all the stupid little costs associated with a car as well: expensive insurance (even though I’ve never had an accident and never been charged with speeding), titles, registration and numerous fees that various entities impose in order to finance their overbloated staff and governments.

Friends
A good number of friends lost contact with me when I was gone before, and some barely acknowledge that I’ve returned. Numerous people that I’ve called friends – I love you dearly – but the fire and idealism and passion that once attracted me to you has faded from your eyes and your souls. So many of you seem like empty and passionless shells of the people I knew previously; you accept the status quo without question and believe that this way of meaningless existence is the American Dream; you are unwilling to take bold chances or expand your horizons, and I long for the people I previously knew and loved. I am proof that there is a better way of life available to you overseas, away from this highly-regulated version of what the American government wants you to think is the American Dream and a good life. I strongly advocate that you re-assess your situation and ask yourself if the life you have now is the life that you want forever. And if you change your mind and decide to leave this country for a better life, I will support you totally and completely.

2008-08-26T08:17:00.003-04:00

Go East, Young Man!

Here is my plan in terms of traveling over the next month:

I made this map using paint and got frustrated with it so I just wrote the abbreviations for the cities there. But in case you're internationally challenged, here's how the plan goes:

-Columbus to Chicago (the only leg of the journey by bus)
-Chicago to Frankfurt (time to see Hendrik more than a year after he left Long Xuyen)
-Frankfurt --> Barcelona --> Frankfurt (an extended weekend with Hendrik, Biggi, and possibly Lan)
-Frankfurt to Ho Chi Minh City to start a new life in Indochina where I don't spend all my money on cars.

2008-08-21T09:27:00.003-04:00

The story that I heard on NPR yesterday afternoon:

In Vietnam, Press Freedom Stifled

(You can read the transcript or listen to the streaming audio).

And here's the letter I sent NPR this morning:

I am usually impressed with NPR’s balanced coverage of world news, but I have to notify you of my disappointment with Michael Sullivan’s story concerning press freedom in Vietnam that aired on Wednesday, August 20.

Sullivan has obviously had limited exposure to Vietnamese culture although he is based in the capitol. This is obvious because of his inability to pronounce proper names of Vietnamese people and the most influential newspapers in the nation. Also, the supposed “expert” that Sullivan interviewed for his story is with the Australian Defense Force Academy. How is the Australian military even related to freedom of the press in Vietnam?

Sullivan’s story is typical Western journalism trying to sensationalize a story about a nation and culture that he obviously knows little about and cannot begin to understand. There were no quotes or statements from either “Thanh Nien” or “Tuoi Tre,” and the general tone of the story was slanted negatively against the Vietnamese government.

I request that you not air further stories from Sullivan concerning Vietnam unless he improves his basic journalism skills and is able to file a non-biased and/or balanced report.

2008-08-13T10:22:00.003-04:00

I'm starting to get really pissed off at the West's horribly disdainful and biased coverage of the Olympics in Beijing. This article was in the New York Times this morning, and they could only hold off until the until the fourth paragraph before quoting some people saying that the Chinese team was cheating, despite the Chinese team winning the gold in gymnastics.

Also, the media here are drooling on the fact that the fireworks display for the opening ceremony was faked, and that the little girl singing was actually lip-syncing. I have a phrase for them: "Shut the hell up!" Where were you when the present administration conned most of the populace into an unjustified invasion on false pretenses? Five-and-a-half years ago, the U.S. media was all patriotic and gung-ho for war, patriotism, USA, rah-rah-rah. No serious, probing questions were asked about invading a sovereign nation then, but now, every slight thing that can be questioned, or even better, negatively skewed, about another emerging superpower is being iterated by the U.S. and Western media. The U.S. media needs to stop searching for stupid, unimportant "scandals" involving the Olympics just because they're in China this year.

So here's a message to the U.S. in general: This nation is a declining economic and military superpower. China is emerging to be the next superpower (the argument could be made that they already are the next superpower because they're bought all of the U.S.'s debt). Get over it. This country has been mismanaged to the point of decline.

2008-08-01T13:12:00.005-04:00

John McCain is a retarded piece of shit and should not even be running for office. There, I said it.

The McCain campaign has been airing TV ads in Ohio that do their best to equate high gas prices with Barack Obama. Despite the ridiculousness of this idea, I'm sure that the a good number of Ohioans are falling for it hook, line and sinker because the majority of this state hasn't attended college yet worships the ground on which a college football team walks.

Regardless, I decided that I am much more qualified to run for president than Mr. McCain. Observe the following objective analysis:

-McCain spent about 5.5 years in Vietnam. I spent about 3 years in Vietnam. Compared to our respective ages that's about 7.6 percent of his life in Vietnam and 12 percent of my life in Vietnam, hence, I have more foreign experience than he. Some people will claim that he was tortured in Vietnam, well, I had to fill out monthly expense reports while I was there which were like torture. Think about this folks: I endured more torture (relatively speaking) in Vietnam than John McCain.

-I did not divorce my first wife because she was disabled in a car wreck.

-I did not call my second wife a cunt in front of reporters.

-I do not make up stupid shit (i.e., I don't blame my political opponents for higher gas prices).

-I can lift my arms above my head.

-I've never had cancer and I don't have a swollen glad in my left cheek.

-I do not cash my Social Security check every month and hence I do not drain the U.S. economy.

-I am not a Republican.

2008-07-24T08:09:00.002-04:00

I wanted to write about several things over the past few days: McCain's stupid political ad, OSU sports teams, etc., but it's the week of the county fair and I've been kept busy covering stuff there... Hopefully more will follow soon.

2008-07-15T09:09:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was my weekly trip to the supermarket to buy my food for the week. However, this short outing was different than all the other times I've been to the supermarket since I've been back in the Mount Vernon area. If anyone who is reading this is familiar with the Mount Vernon/Knox County area, they'll know that minorities are a rare sight around here. But as I was walking through the supermarket, I saw a woman that I know was from Southeast Asia. I didn't want to stare because that's not polite in this culture, but I was almost positive she was Vietnamese. She had that slight build and the light brown skin and the thick black hair that I'd been around for years. I wanted to walk right up to her and her family and ask, "Are you Vietnamese?" I wanted to walk by her and pretend to talk to someone on the phone in Vietnamese and have her recognize the rising and falling loops of that glorious tonal language. She was hovering around the small Asian foods section of the supermarket, probably wondering why we have an entire aisle dedicated to chips while only a small section of the place contained a small number of the glorious flavors of that area of the world.

I didn't have the guts to walk up and talk to her. But when I got out into the parking lot and also on the ride home, I felt like I'd just seen an old, true love of mine; like I'd just encountered an old lover that I still harbored a smoldering passion for, and my stomach was in knots. Yet there was no physical attraction at all. She, this mythical woman in the supermarket, represented an entire country for me... What do these strange feelings say about me? That I'm dying to speak Vietnamese; I'm dying to be with Vietnamese people again.

My Vietnamese languages skills are withering, and it took me about 15 minutes or more to remember the word for "peanuts" on the ride home.

2008-07-09T09:18:00.003-04:00

It was one of those insomnia nights last night. And to make things a little more interesting it was raining and the thunder was booming and there was lightning flashing. After spending a fair amount of time lying around in the sticky humidity and not meeting my friend sleep, I walked outside to have a look at the lightning that was all around.

The house was pitch black and the small green LED lights in the smoke alarms illuminated light-green circles on the hallway carpets as I walked through the house. I made it out into the drive way and noticed that the lightning to the northwest was flashing in a definite rhythm with no thunder that reached my ears; a rhythm that continued the entire time I was out there puffing on my cigarette.

After some time I came inside, had a glass of water and turned on the TV. There were no weather warnings like the TV usually broadcasts when clouds or rain appears in the area, so I watched late-night shows that I never really get around to any more, and eventually the rain started to fall steadily and soothingly, with few flashes and booms punctuating the calmness of the falling drops.

Finally sleep came, and it was much too late when it arrived. I'm not sure what I can blame it on: a short nap after work, a tad bit of indigestion, a mind that can't be fenced in... But I was woken by a jolt of an alarm this morning and stumbled downstairs for coffee, hoping that insomnia wouldn't strike again tonight.

2008-06-28T11:49:00.003-04:00

I found this EP in my closet yesterday and thought I'd post these songs for others' enjoyment. Good luck trying to find these MP3s anywhere else on the internet...

The Mr. T Experience, "Alternative is Here to Stay"

The Mr. T Experience, "New Girlfriend"

2008-06-28T01:45:00.002-04:00

My thoughts exactly...

----------------
Now playing: Ramblin' Jack Elliott - Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues
via FoxyTunes

2008-06-24T08:28:00.002-04:00

One of the worst feelings in the world is when you have a dream that you were not able to sleep last night, and then wake up remembering that dream. Such a thing happened to me yesterday morning, and although I made it through my day at the newspaper without collapsing on my desk because of my exhaustion, real or imaginary, I arrived home in a foul mood that has continued today. The other day, I noticed that the right-front tire on my car was low on air, so yesterday I stopped to put some air in it, and to improve the fuel efficiency as well. However, when I couched down to put air in the tire, I saw steel looking back at me. "Yikes!" I thought, "this isn't safe and I'll need to get new tires tomorrow when the stores are open." And my next thought was, "Goddamnit, this is going to be fucking expensive." That same sentiment is still with me now, the next morning with my car at the shop. I hate having to depend on a car, I hate car insurance, I hate having to buy gas, I hate expensive repairs and maintenance on cars, etc. Screw cars! Gimmie a train or a motorbike any day...

2008-06-18T09:59:00.002-04:00

I've been keeping myself quite busy between the paper and delivering pizzas and some other projects that have to be kept under wraps for the sake of surprise. However, I've been feeling a little guilty for not keeping up the garden like I should and need to get on that during the weekend when I'll be around the house again.

The weather here continues to confuse me because the last two days have been cool -- I would say cold -- and I keep thinking that it's supposed to be warm and hot this time of year. And life seems to have fallen into a rhythm and I'm wary to say if I'm fond of it or not. It's sort of the wake up, make coffee, pack lunch, eat breakfast, go to work thing that kinda gets to me. Some people relish monotony, but I'm still on the borderline of my mind and not sure if it'll lead to an assurance of stability or eventually to some mental collapse; I'm still trying at this age to figure out my own personality and which side I fit into.

2008-06-13T14:29:00.003-04:00

Nearly every weekday morning when I'm in the kitchen scrounging around for coffee and food for the day, I turn on the TV to see what the morning news has to say. Unfortunately, PBS doesn't have a morning news show, so I'm subjected to commercials every few minutes while I'm grinding coffee or getting some fruits and veggies together for lunch.

This morning, one particular commercial caught my ear. It was a car commercial saying that some company would wave the payments on the car for the first three months. Then I started thinking, "Do people actually fall for this? Is this country one where marketing people really think they can get people to buy a car just by saying they don't have to make payments for three months, never mind that you'll have to keep paying for like five years or something?"

So do people actually fall for these little advertising gimmicks? Or do most people think like me and listen absorb the information in these commercials with a critical ear?

2008-06-11T08:17:00.004-04:00

I suppose there are a few things that I can take away from last weekend in Chicago:

-Phil, Doug, and Sarah are weird for not hanging out.
-Erin M. is possibly the lamest person ever for not hanging out.
-My brother is an asshole in general (but we all knew that anyway).
-Lillian is awesome for putting up with a ton of people she didn't know.

That pretty much sums up the weekend. Oh yeah, and Dylan -- my younger brother -- got married which leaves me the only person in the family who is still single.

I suppose a large chunk of the days in Chicago were spent traversing the city, either for wedding related activities or just wandering around with Lillian, which included a trip to a manufactured "Chinatown" and meeting up with Christine (who previously worked for VIA and now Lillian is in her position).

It was a good time with some good moments, including me dancing with Dylan's very short mother-in-law while wearing an ao dai. We'll just leave it at that...

2008-06-05T08:25:00.005-04:00

Allow me to rant about politics for a few minutes...

I've written a couple articles for the paper involving the smoking ban that went into effect in Ohio last year, and from one of the local veterans' groups in town I'd learned that they were appealing the decision of the courts to extend the ban to private/fraternal organizations. Well, yesterday the idiotic supreme court of Ohio upheld the ruling from a lower court and let the ban stand completely; for all indoor locations. Now, let me quote from the actual ballot, in other words, what voters actually read and agreed with:

"Exempt from the smoking restrictions certain locations, including private residences (except during the hours that the residence operates as a place of business involving non-residents of the private residents), designated smoking rooms hotels, motels and other lodging facilities; designated smoking areas for nursing home residents; retail tobacco stores, outdoor patios, private clubs, and family-owned and operated places of business."
(emphasis added)

There you have it. That's what the voters chose. And now the supreme court said that even the private clubs, which the voters chose to exempt from the smoking ban, are not able to allow smoking. What's worse is that the supreme court didn't even have written decision to accompany its inaction. Not only was I not able to vote for this issue because I was out of the country, but now the court is not even acquiescing with the people's wishes.

These veterans' groups are starting to hurt now. They do a lot of charity and community work in cities and small towns, and now they're losing members and money and in turn it's going to affect others, all because the members of these veteran groups can't go into a building, socialize and have a smoke.

So here's my position on the issue: if the government truly cares about its citizens' health, it would completely ban tobacco and smoking. But the government can't do that because tobacco farmers and the tobacco industry have power and influence and like it or not, tobacco is a part of this, and almost every other culture. However, if the government doesn't have the guts to courage to completely ban tobacco, it should stop making these half-assed laws that just harass smokers. Oh, and if cigarettes are so bad for the people, then stop taxing them and using the revenue to fund the ridiculous government that's trying to ban their consumption! In other words, don't bite the hand that feeds you.

2008-06-04T09:20:00.003-04:00

It's finally happened... I sat with Eric Stutzman on the night of the New Hampshire primary and we fretted about if Obama would get the nomination. I've wondered and worried so much over the past few months if this would ever happen, and last night, finally, things came together. I don't really know any other words to write, but I have a good feeling about this.

2008-06-03T08:33:00.004-04:00

I caught Steven on yahoo chat last night, and we talked about our one connecting factor: the country of Vietnam, and then of course the subject shifted to the differences with Western culture. One thing that Steven said which rang true for me was that in Vietnam, his experience was "friendship above all else," and not the materialism and commercialism that overwhelms our lives here in the west. It's like what the Vietnamese guy I met in Columbus said to me: that people don't go out here, they just work, eat, sleep, and then do it all over. Steven also mentioned something about just building bridges and watching things grow, which is something else that seems to be lacking from life here.

It seems like ages ago, but it was less than three years ago actually, when Steven and I used to sit on his balcony in Long Xuyen at night and drink a few beers, watch the insects fly around the security light, smoke too many cigarettes, and "process." I stole the term from Dan Wessner who used it when he brought groups of American students to Vietnam and would take time with them to talk about their feelings and experiences in a new country and culture. Well, Steven and I had our own processing to do, and we hadn't yet been there for a year, and we spent many a night processing on his balcony, which happened to be the largest in the guesthouse. I guess now we still process, we're just on other sides of the world and not on a balcony together in the evening.

2008-06-02T11:33:00.002-04:00

Well, it's now June, meaning that it's almost been six months since I came back to these United States from across the ocean where I was a day younger. If you have read this blog over the past six months you've seen my rants and raving about life in this expensive industrialized nation and some thoughts about my times in that tropical country where I dedicated three years of my life. Insomnia still attacks me some nights when I try to sleep, like last night when all thoughts as I laid in the darkness were of people -- friends and students and colleagues -- that I met while in Vietnam. There's just something about this place that I can't figure out: I can't figure out why people can stand this country. It's like talking to a tree or something. The tree says that it's growing little by little, year by year, but it still knows that eventually it's going to to be cut down and burned. I guess that's true for all people in all walks of life, but the country of Vietnam had an optimistic feel to it that I can't find here; the people there had a sociability that the people here seem to have lost. A different culture, for sure, and lots of aspects of it annoyed the hell outta me, but at times I miss them. I miss random people asking me relatively personal questions and I really don't mind answering them. I miss the normalness of just lounging around and drinking coffee for 20 minutes or so. I miss being able to go out with friends for no particular reason except that someone feels like it. And I don't understand why some aspects of that far away culture are not part of this culture which would bind this society closer together.

2008-05-28T10:32:00.004-04:00

I have no idea what's going on with the weather here. Yesterday morning it was warm and throughout the day the temperature dropped so that by the evening I was wearing an insulated shirt outside. Today the weather has stayed cool and the sun is shining. There isn't much else to say, except that I've got a late night of two meetings which I then have to write about. Also, I'm halfway through Sherman Alexie's novel Flight, which is the first new stuff that I've read by him in years, and I'm digging it.

Oh, and I discovered this new version of the Old Crow Medicine Show singing their famous song "Wagon Wheel." I would say that this version has much more of a swing/Hank Williams feel to it. Let me know what you think...

The Old Crow Medicine Show Wagon Wheel (Different Version) MP3

2008-05-27T09:26:00.002-04:00

Well, yesterday was Memorial Day, and although I had to work, that day, it turned out pretty good. I must say that I couldn't have had a much more "American" day since my return to this country. What follows is a list of the stereotypical stuff that a true patriotic American does on a day like Memorial Day:

-I went to see a small-town parade and ceremony in a cemetery to honor veterans. (This was my work for the day, so I had to take pictures and write an article about it too).

-We had a cookout at home with some of the extended family.

-We went to a baseball game in Columbus (the Clippers lost unfortunately...)

-There were fireworks after the baseball game.

So there ya have it: my first Memorial Day back from Vietnam (freedom-hating commies according to many; more free than the U.S. according to me), and I was just about as truly "American" as you can get.

2008-05-23T08:29:00.002-04:00

At least a month or so ago, I was sitting around in a local government office, waiting for a meeting to begin, when my phone started vibrating. I ran out into the lobby to answer it, and it was a call from a quán nhậu (there's no good English word) in Long Xuyên. The owner of the establishment is a friend of mine, and he was on the phone and I was pacing around the lobby of this particular government building and shouting Vietnamese while people walked around me. One of the things he told me was: The City of Long Xuyên misses you.

More recently, just the other day, I happened to be chatting with a student of mine from Long Xuyên. I mentioned how quickly I was forgetting Vietnamese, and so she started chatting in Vietnamese and I rustily started typing my replies. She asked me to tell her about America. I said something like: The weather is cold and the people are boring. She then asked why the people were boring. Because they have no hope, I said.

It was the best way I could put my thoughts into a language that I've barely used in five months.

2008-05-22T11:30:00.004-04:00

I heard something on the radio today about smokers and how they're more likely to quit smoking if people around them or people within three degrees of knowing them quit also. This reminded me of when I went to the local health department when I got back from Vietnam for my physical, and after they asked me if I smoked, and I said yes, they said they were starting a program to help smokers quit soon. Well, I wanted to say it then, but I didn't, so I'll say it now: I don't want to quit smoking because I like smoking! I like the taste and smell of tobacco leaves and the smoldering fire they produce. I like sitting and thinking about the world and life while the beautiful smoke billows around me. I hate these stories about people quitting smoking; I hate totalitarian bans on smoking; and I enjoy my old tobacco use. So here are two songs that mention smoking and/or tobacco:

Tom Waits singing Warm Beer and Cold Women MP3

Or buy Tom Waits music on Amazon

And we also have some song that I don't know the artist, but it's an Irish tune and it's called All for Me Grogg MP3

2008-05-20T10:52:00.005-04:00

I'm posting a song that I heard once while I was in the Irish pub in Ho Chi Minh City, and I only really paid attention to the refrain and the line about the Plain of Reeds, which was in Đồng Tháp Province, which was not far from Long Xuyên. So, from however many months ago when I first heard it, this song stuck with me and for some reason recently I was reminded of it and searched for it online. It's pretty radical for it's time and all, but here's Ewan MacColl singing "The Ballad of Ho Chi Minh."

The Ballad of Ho Chi Minh MP3

Or buy Ewan MacColl's music at Amazon

2008-05-14T13:11:00.004-04:00

Exactly...

2008-05-14T08:42:00.003-04:00

Gasoline prices jumped up 25 cents yesterday and hit $3.95 in Ohio; oil prices hit a record high of well over $125 a barrel. The reason for all of this, as explained on the news this morning: speculation!! Right, there it is again, speculation, not an actual decrease in supply or anything. National Public Radio explained that the reason for this increase in price was because that the speculators thought that maybe Iran might cut production. Just read that sentence again while and let it sink it. Here, I'll add some emphasis: Speculators thought that maybe Iran might cut production. Meanwhile oil supplies are at normal levels while we in the land of the "free" suffer paying these ridiculous prices while certain people and countries rake in huge profits because there isn't a train line anywhere in the country. Remember why we fight!!

For oil...

2008-05-13T08:17:00.005-04:00

Well, the second baseman for the Cleveland Indians, Asdrubal Cabrera, turned an unassisted triple play last night, which was only the 14th in major league history. Unfortunately, the Indians weren't able to beat the Blue Jays in extra innings, but it's still a historic event.

Yesterday was a Monday routine of buying expensive food and gasoline and then coming home to watch Arrested Development for some time before reading a good book and then fading off to sleep before being woken by the jangling ringing of my cell phone around midnight. I went back to sleep.

This morning I was pulling on my socks when this song came on the computer, and it seems a little like the situation today: not much money coming in, and expensive stuff just to get by. So here's Pete Seeger singing "Seven-Cent Cotton and Forty-Cent Meat."

Seven-Cent Cotton and Forty-Cent Meat MP3

Buy it at Amazon

2008-05-12T12:03:00.003-04:00

Ha! These last few days have been rainy and drizzly and it's cooler today and I'm wishing I wore a long-sleeved shirt or something to work to fend off the dampness of the cold. Yesterday was Mothers' Day, in addition to being my mother's birthday, and we had the first family cook out of the year, and I cooked veggie burgers and even found some veggie bratwurst for myself. I have to admit that I didn't seem to remember the finer points of lighting charcoal briquettes, especially in a drizzle. It took dad and Bryan (my brother-in-law) and me standing around and talking about everything to get the grill nice and hot, just the way it should. (There is a picture somewhere of Josh, Issa and me grilling, and that was the last time I've cooked that way at my house...).

But now the weekend is gone -- a weekend that also featured my first motorcycle ride in America. I was over visiting the neighbors, and one of their sons was home from Chicago, and he'd recently bought a 1978 Honda bike, and he took me for a spin around the country roads near his house, sometimes reaching 70 mph, which was much faster than I've ever been while riding on two wheels. Tempting, yes, but I just don't know how practical a motorcycle would be for me right now...

2008-05-08T16:08:00.002-04:00

I stole this from Slate.com

2008-05-08T09:52:00.005-04:00

And now we begin to see the decline of capitalism and the free market system. From my limited understanding of economics, the reason for the recent increase in prices, especially fuel and food, is due to speculation, not actually low supply. Hence, supply and demand as an economic reality as been effectively debunked. Why are we paying higher prices when gas and oil supplies are not low? Because we have no choice and a few certain select members of the elite are raking in huge profits. Why are we paying more for food? Food supplies are not low, but speculation and economists think that it might become low in the future, hence the price goes up, and the lower classes suffer. This is the final straw. While the majority of Americans and people in the world suffer under higher prices over which they have no control, the inklings of revolution must be forming.

This warped economic system must be placed under the control of a state that has the people's best interests at heart, not in the hands of wealthy speculators with their own interests at stake. A few hundred million or billion dollars to a wealthy businessman may mean the suffering of millions of humans. It is time for the state to take control and work for the people. If this is does not happen it is time for the people to take control and implement a system that keeps their interests and welfare at the forefront of policy. We are still held by the chains of prices -- prices that we have no control over -- and the time is coming when we must break these chains.

*UPDATE*

It was confirmed by my friend, The Great Steven Parker, who has studied and is studying economics, that speculation has indeed caused this price increase in oil and gas. He said that he had heard that without speculation, oil would currently be around $60 to $70 per barrel.

2008-05-06T09:10:00.005-04:00

A recipe for losing one's mind: go abroad for an extended period of time to a point where you are accepted into and understand another culture quite well. A culture where you are highly respected for what you do, where the people are so friendly you have to hide from them and where the costs associated with a good life are minuscule. Then, go back to a culture and nation that you once thought "yours"; a culture where you are nobody, a culture where what you do is criticized regularly and you don't make a living wage. Add in the fact that friends from the foreign culture still contact you quite regularly and tell you that you should be back in the other culture with them.

Trước đây, tôi nói: "Long Xuyên là quê hương thứ hai của tôi."
Bây giờ, tôi nói: "Việt Nam là quê hương của tôi bởi vì tôi nhớ đất nước đó nhiều quá."

Bây giờ, tôi luôn luôn nhớ những chữ của Bác Hồ: "Việt Nam trong trái tim tôi."

Tôi hi vọng tiếng Việt tôi đúng; tôi quên nhiều quá rồi...

2008-05-04T19:31:00.002-04:00

Lambs are cute

2008-05-02T08:11:00.004-04:00

Here's a new one that I just got a hold of. It's still new to me, and I'm still trying to make up my mind about it. It's the Old Crow Medicine Show singing Woody Guthrie's great song "Deportee."

Deportee MP3

2008-05-01T12:52:00.002-04:00

Finally, a refreshing reminder of what this country should be doing:

Thomas Friedman writing in the New York Times

2008-05-01T11:30:00.003-04:00

The great band Rage Against the Machine said it best:

"Now slaves to the pump and the price is set."

Testify!

2008-04-30T09:37:00.003-04:00

Another day of life in the states, another day of hearing dreary news about the costs of living. Gas is up with no sign of decreasing in price. Food is up because gas is up. Fertilizer, which as arguably increased the world's population, and hence the demand for gas and food, has tripled in price. The U.S. dollar is falling like an anvil, which is not helping matters. "The housing market" is in free-fall as well. Congratulations America: you've created a fucked-up nation which has turned or is turning every person who isn't super rich into a person of despair. "We have freedom!" some people say. Well, not the freedom to move because we've created a web of transportation dependent on cars and their driver's income. Somehow the speculating on shaky prospects has created the problems with housing at the moment. And further speculation worldwide is causing the increases in food prices.

Yet Americans cling to the idea that America will return to it's prosperous state and all will be well if we just get through this tough time. We'll have a new president; we'll be out of Iraq; we'll have "green technology." America pretends to ignore the fact that we are a nation of immigrants, and we can and possibly should move on, leaving the failed experiment in so-called democracy behind us. As my friend Eric Stutzman once said in describing the two of us: "You and me, we can flush the toilet; other people just stare at the shit." Ditch this country. It ain't worth saving.

Here's The Clash signing a very relevant song for the times:

"I'm So Bored with the USA"

2008-04-29T14:50:00.002-04:00

Gah, after this past weekend of antics with Rebekah and Erin, I now find myself trapped in the rut of a workweek. I woke up at 6 this morning with the pleasant thought: "I have to go through this again today?" Almost went back to sleep but decided to get up and drag myself through the shower and into the office, where I try to stay awake on a slow news day. However, I cling to bits of hope that I encounter around. A brief conversation with the cigarette shop lady; certain music that I hear. Yeah, music. So here is a song I turned on this morning before going to insert strange items and poisonous chemicals in my mouth in the name of keeping my teeth healthy. Hell, I might have posted it here before, but this is "Wagon Wheel" by the Old Crow Medicine Show.

Wagon Wheel MP3.

2008-04-24T07:43:00.002-04:00

Yesterday when I was killing time in the office, I found a can of that compressed air stuff and started cleaning off my laptop computer. This would be the first time that it's been done since I've owned the thing, and that's been almost two years. After I'd done a number on the keyboard and gotten all kinds of dust and animal hair out of it, I decided to give a shot of air into the fan vent. After doing so, the fan stopped running. My initial though was, "Wow, it must've been really dirty and just that burst of air cleaned it all off and cooled it all down." However, after a couple minutes I thought better of it and turned off the computer and opened it up to have a look at the situation. As it turns out, the shot of air had wedged a hunk of dust and hair further into the fan itself, and it couldn't even turn. I had to pull it out with tweezers (thank god for Swiss Army knives).

Today however, things seem to be running much better.

2008-04-21T08:54:00.002-04:00

The past couple of days were good. On Saturday evening, Josh and I went to a Clippers game in Columbus. He'd never been to a game, and this was my first baseball game in nearly four years. It also happened to be major league hat night, so we picked out our favorite teams and wore the hats throughout the game. Earlier in the day some light rain had been falling, and we were worried that they might cancel the game, but it was only delayed by about 30 minutes.

Because of the rain and the cooler weather, there weren't many people at the game, which meant a decent view. And when we walked in we got coupons that said if the Clippers scored three runs or more we could come to another game for free. Well, in the third inning, the Clippers scored five runs, so we're hopefully going back next week to take advantage of our free game.

While we were watching the game, we ate a ton of sunflower seeds, and by the time we finished all the seeds the floor below our feet and the seats in front of us (empty of course) were covered in the shells. This picture shows our left cheeks stuffed with sunflower seeds to the point that we look like squirrels or something.

On Sunday morning, I convinced Josh to go to the Vietnamese pho restaurant not far from his place in Columbus for cafe da. Because the weather was warm, I said we could ask to take a table outside so we could smoke with our coffee. To my extreme excitement, there were already guys sitting outside and drinking coffee and smoking. We sat down and within minutes were talking to other people about Vietnam, I was doing my best to remember all my Vietnamese, and it was great! The Vietnamese guys there (one couldn't really speak English at all) kept saying how expensive things were in the states, they even said that people weren't really free here because of all the money that people have to spend. One guy went on about how no one in America just hangs out. That wasn't exactly the term he used, but he said that people in America don't go out for coffee, or beer, or anything. He said that people here just get up, work, eat, sleep, and then do it again. I couldn't agree more. I told them that I'd like to go back to Vietnam someday because I could make more money than in the states, and they said it was a good idea. I think I even planted the seed of eventually trying to convince Josh to come to Vietnam...

2008-04-16T07:59:00.002-04:00

The old barn at the farm has been deteriorating for several years and decades now, and this summer it will be torn down. As a building with a frame that predates nails, I thought I'd take a few pictures of it to memorialize it.

Just this spring sometime one of the walls collapsed, making the whole structure more dangerous and more expensive than it's worth to repair.

Here's where we used to milk our cow every morning and evening:

The lightning rod that runs down one side:

The cavernous interior. Look closely and you can see that the beams are attached to one another with wooden pegs, not nails.

Here's a pulley made out of wood that has been inside the barn since god knows when.

A view from another angle:

Yep, it's a grand old structure, but we just don't have the time or money to repair everything to make it functional and safe. A remnant of the past will be gone before the fall.

2008-04-13T19:10:00.002-04:00

I guess I've got to write something. So these are some things that have been knocking around in my head the past couple of weeks or so.

America is not the land of opportunity that is likes to think it is. America is the land of continually paying and never owning or controlling. Here are my examples: cars, cell phones and houses (luckily I'm excluded from the latter, but if I wasn't I'd be certainly way deep in debt). I turn on the TV and see ads for cars that are "only" double my yearly salary, and I wonder who the hell can actually afford to buy a car outright any more. With my cell phone, I just pay, and don't actually own the phone, unlike almost every other country in the world. If I had a credit card, oh man, I wouldn't like to think of the problems that I'd have. So although at every sporting event in this nation we call ourselves "the land of the free," I feel incredibly tied to everything and have never felt constrained in my life.

When I was out of the country, I missed things like functioning electric grids and warm showers, but now I realize that me missing those things was completely superficial. I can't say that I actually like using a shower curtain or driving a car, and to this day I still don't drink from the bathroom sink because I'm used to not drinking from the bathroom sink.

I've also come to the realization that I came home with trumped-up expectations of my family. Maybe it was all my Vietnamese friends and students who always said, "You must miss your family"; maybe all of that got into my head. I came home, and my family was like, "Oh, you're back. Now be normal." Well, for many reasons, I'm still not normal nor do I really want to be. I've got a thousand and one stories to tell, and very few people willing to listen to them or care about them. I heard a quote on the radio the other day, and it was something like: "After you've done something significant, everything else is just making enough to eat." My thoughts exactly. I'm just making enough to eat and get by at the moment. I can't say that writing articles concerning local affairs is very significant in the big scheme of things. But I'll press on and float by.

2008-04-08T09:40:00.004-04:00

Well, the weather is nice but work has been keeping me quite busy over the past few days. I had 14 hours on the clock yesterday, working from 8 in the morning until after midnight, thanks to a Village Council meeting in an insignificant speck of a town that takes themselves and "issues" way, way, way, WAY too fucking seriously. But at least the weather has been nice lately, but unfortunately I haven't been able to enjoy it much. However, since the print media is dying and I'm not allowed to work overtime, at least it means that I'll finish work early on Friday and have a relaxing weekend at home and perhaps get some writing done.

Last night, even after I got home at 12:30 a.m. and was exhausted, as soon as I was in bed my old foe insomnia hit me and I tossed and turned because my mind was on fire with electricity that David Bowie couldn't have turned off. I'm trying to cling to things and hoping that they don't slip away.

2008-04-02T09:55:00.003-04:00

What?!

Holy shit! It's David in Ohio!! I hadn't seen David since his wedding in February of 2007 in Cao Lanh... We had lots to talk about and lots of stories to swap...

Click here to read about some of our exploits in Long Xuyen...

2008-03-27T08:32:00.002-04:00

Over the past few days my health has not exactly been 100% with occasional coughing, sneezing and a sore throat. To add to that now, the past two evenings, when I've been exhausted from work or whatever, I've gotten into bed just to toss and turn and not sleep for hours. I actually woke up an hour late this morning and didn't even realize that my alarm had been going off for a whole hour (thanks worthless Verizon cell phone!). But anyway, I'm back at the place where I spend a lot of my time for money; my place in the wage-slavery capitalistic-industrio complex.

Oh, and I felt physically sick when I filled up my car last night. Damn gas prices...

2008-03-19T20:43:00.003-04:00

It's snowing again. And I was at work until after 8 p.m. And my car was slipping on the road on the way home. So what else is new? I'm fucking tired of this shitty snow and the stress that I get from driving through it. Tomorrow is the first day of spring, so here's my message to the snow: "Fuck you! Get lost!"

2008-03-19T13:22:00.003-04:00

Well, I came to the realization yesterday that I'm married. That's right, I wasn't aware of it until I came back from Vietnam, but yes, I'm married. I'm married to a hunk of steel, rubber and glass that says "Hyundai" on it. I don't think I could live without it and it takes up a lot of my time and money too... Yesterday I remembered that the Hyundai's registration had expired, and hence I needed to go to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles to renew it. However, like everything in this bureaucratic cesspool known as the freedom-loving states, nothing is free. The cost to register for one year: $49.50. The cost for car insurance for a year (which is now required by law): around $720. The car payments for the year just to claim that the car belongs to me: $2280. The cost to renew my drivers license a few weeks ago: $24. The cost of a gallon of gas now: Well over $3 (gallons the Hyundai holds: 11 [11x$3.25 = $35.75]). So there ya have it folks, I got married without even knowing it and despise the marriage because I'm stuck in it and apparently the U.S. Government doesn't permit divorce easily.

Now lets compare costs to owning a motorbike in Vietnam. Payments on the bike: 0 VND a year because it belonged to MCC (cost of new Honda bike, probably around $700-$1000). Insurance for a year (which is optional): less than $6. Registration for a new bike: 0 VND (you just transfer the title from the previous owner if you're buying it used and the plates are good for life). Drivers license: the prices varied among foreigners, and mine was pretty expensive, coming in at around $66-70, but again, it's good for life. Gas was less than a dollar a liter, and I could drive for two weeks on 7 liters, and my bike used a little more than most. Repairs were an issue with my bike, but they were generally less than $5 and I would be driving again the next day.

But speaking of marriage, Tyler is getting married early next year!! Hard to believe that all those days of madness in Long Xuyen are behind us and now he'll be settling down, somewhere... sometime... Anyway, I hope to be at the wedding if I can afford it.

It's raining and dreary today and I've got to start working on a special story about fitness, and I have no contacts to go on. Great...

2008-03-10T19:54:00.002-04:00

I can't make ideas and words fit together today.

2008-03-08T13:55:00.002-05:00

Waiting for the nephews to go sledding...

2008-03-03T08:05:00.001-05:00

Who says I'm not good with kids?

My youngest niece, Cicely, and me.

2008-03-02T11:12:00.002-05:00

What!?! Obama supporters in Mount Vernon?!? Who woulda thunk it...?

But this rally in the center of Mount Vernon was not covered by my place of employment, the only newspaper in Mount Vernon...

2008-02-28T08:20:00.002-05:00

The Romantic's thoughts about the snow: Look how the gently falling snow covers the landscape and quiets everything in my view; how each flake that falls on my nose or tongue creates a new sensation of life in my frozen heart. How I will miss the snow when the spring sun melts it back into the ground and long for the next coating of white on the world...

The Realist who drives a Hyundai Accent with bad tires through the snow: Fuck the snow!

2008-02-26T14:23:00.002-05:00

Three things that I would gladly give the government half of my paycheck for if they would provide these services:

-Free health care and prescription medicines (no complicated tax credits or paperwork or anything like that).
-A reliable railroad network that I could access by driving ten miles or less that would connect me to every major city and airport in the country.
-Free education through a bachelor's degree for everyone.

Think about those things candidates. Or maybe I should just move to Europe...

2008-02-26T09:30:00.003-05:00

The road was covered with slush today, and after I surmounted the hill that I thought would be the most trouble, I couldn't control the car going down another hill and ended up sliding off of the road and into a small ditch. I wasn't stuck too badly, and I called around to Bryan (my brother-in-law) and the roadside assistance (which I would've had to pay for), but then Bryan called back and said that he could come and pull me out, which he did and it honestly took very little effort on the part of his van. It's just not a good feeling to lose control of a moving vehicle. After he'd pulled me out, he asked if I was ready to go back to Vietnam. "Yes!" I answered emphatically.

And here are the two birthday boys from last weekend with Chad. Let's find the weird connections from college: Chad (center) was my homo-social lifemate and Christian (right) was my ex-lover.

The term "homo-social lifemate" came from something that Chad and I studied in our critical theory class, and I think the term "ex-lover" came from some late night conversation/argument at a truck stop after too much coffee and too many cigarettes.

2008-02-25T08:37:00.002-05:00

Twenty-five years now. Days when events such as birthdays arrive, I usually end up wondering what I've done with my life so far and what will happen later. This time around the event marked a quarter of a century. I have to wonder how many more I have left in me. I hope two more, but we'll see. And what have I done so far? I finished college, so I guess that's an accomplishment. I finished an MCC term in another culture and made a ton of good friends and I hope I had a positive influence on students (I got several birthday greetings from Vietnam, including a powerpoint presentation). I feel like I'm not doing my part to help the world at this current job, but I am gaining experience here. I need to get out into the world, that's what I want to do with the next quarter century. I want to be there, on the ground, in some place that needs my service and knowledge. Vietnam needed me, Mount Vernon Ohio can limp along into the future just fine without me I believe.

So I'm 25, healthy, educated, and I guess that's all pretty good. I should consider myself lucky, and I do. But sometimes is seems that I'm falling behind certain peers who've met fortunes far better than mine. Which is why I need to start exploring the future and see where it leads...

2008-02-24T23:59:00.000-05:00

It was more appropriate last year, but I may read this poem on every birthday until I'm 30...

"Twenty-Four Years," by Dylan Thomas

Twenty-four years remind the tears of my eyes.

(Bury the dead for fear that they walk to the grave in labor.)

In the groin of the natural doorway I crouched like a tailor

Sewing a shroud for a journey

By the light of the meat-eating sun.

Dressed to die, the sensual strut begun.

With my red veins full of money,

In the final direction of the elementary town

I advance as long as forever is.

2008-02-21T08:40:00.000-05:00

2008-02-15T06:50:00.002-05:00

Here's an amusing text message conversation between Eric S. and I:

Eric B: When's the event in Wisconsin? (referring to the primary)

Eric S: Next Tuesday

Eric B: Obama there, but the polls for Ohio aren't looking too good

Eric S: Ohio is full of uneducated people who worship an invisible god

Eric B: What god is that?

Eric S: Thor, zeus, jesus, anyone with a beard who preaches capitalism

Eric B: And they're invisible too?

Eric S: Exactly

2008-02-14T19:52:00.000-05:00

I thought this was interesting...

2008-02-13T08:13:00.002-05:00

The roads have been absolutely treacherous over the past day or two. Yesterday it took me four tries to make it up the hill near my house because the road was covered with a slushy ice mix that my tires just couldn't grip. This morning I had thoughts about staying home and calling off work for at least a half-day, but decided to give the roads a try, and made it, albeit slowly and cautiously, to work. The problem kinda stems from the fact that the area of Carson Road where I live is not very densely populated and also gravel, so it doesn't receive a lot of attention from the snowplows. Yesterday I was muttering words that are not appropriate for children to hear as I tried and tried to drive up the ice-slush hills.

And on Monday I got a notice in the mail to go to the post office to pick up a registered package. This has made me very curious as to what is in the package and who sent it. Unfortunately, the post office is the opposite direction from my house as work is, and it closes at 5 p.m., which happens to be the same time that I get off work, so I won't be able to sign for this package until Saturday. Until then I just have to wonder about it. It'll probably be something boring and mundane, and is most likely the car part I ordered last month.

Oh, and Barack Obama won three primaries last night, which always makes good news for me.

2008-02-08T08:01:00.000-05:00

In the news today:
A man in Ohio shot and stabbed his wife in front of her fifth-grade class.
A man in Missouri shot and killed five people at a city council meeting.
Veterans of Iraq, younger than me, are accused of killing fellow soldiers here in the states.

Sometimes I think the question to ask it not, "What's wrong with this country?" but, "What isn't wrong with this country?" Anyway, fuck it, I've pretty much decided that I'm going to skip out of work a little early today and go to a concert in Columbus to nullify my thoughts, I don't care whether or not anyone can join me.

And my fingers still smell like garlic from dinner last night.

And I sure could go for a cafe da right now.

And one year ago on the second day of the year of the pig, I was in the constant companionship of the best friends and colleagues for at least eight hours every day. This year I'm alone with a Bassett Hound.

2008-02-06T10:17:00.000-05:00

There's been a lot of talk about hope in the current primary which just took a major step forward yesterday and last night. That started me thinking on my early morning drive to work about hope in general. To be more precise, is there any hope left for the world, and even if there is, is it worth pursuing? For example, I'm hopeful that the world will change and people will stop doing the stupid, irreversible things to the world that have put us now in this current condition. With my decision to consume less, am I contributing to hope for the future? Or am I simply detracting from the economy and people's jobs, and sucking the hope out of their lives? Is it a worthwhile dream to want to experience other countries and cultures and declare with my actions that this county/state/country is hopeless? Or should I remain here while trying to increase the hope for the future? Is there hope for this country? I'm honestly not sure at the moment, and that's why my eyes and mind are focused on horizons outside of this place for the moment. Nothing is planned, but the hope is still there inside of me.

2008-02-04T09:07:00.000-05:00

An excellent line from an obscure song that everyone should know:

"Everybody knows, that the world is full of stupid people,
Well I got the pistol, so I'll keep the pesos, yeah and that seems fair."

"Banditos," by The Refreshments.

2008-01-31T08:36:00.000-05:00

People are saying recession. I've heard the word depression tossed around. The Federal Reserve has cut interest rates two times in eight days. The House and Senate just approved an "economic stimulus package" for which I don't qualify because I didn't pay any taxes last year. Besides my slight bitterness about missing a handout from the government (too bad it's not free health care or something, you know, practical...), I wanted to go over this "stimulus package," which if I think about it more carefully, actually makes me feel sick and awful that I'm a part of this country. As far as I can understand it, this "package" is going to give most people and businesses either a little extra money or a tax break. And these two things will help strengthen this weakening economy which is attached to a miserably weak dollar as well. This is what makes me feel nauseous: in order to strengthen this economy, the government is going to give almost everyone some extra money so that they'll go out and spend it!! Why does economic growth and a strong currency equal consumption of stupid, worthless products? Why do we need constant growth in the economy? Doesn't anyone in the world seem to understand that growth cannot last forever? That eventually something is going to snap? That perhaps giving most people a few hundred bucks might NOT help the economy when gas is three bucks a gallon and no one is doing anything about it? Since I've been back from Vietnam, I've had a lot of time to think while living home alone. After "sowing my wild oats" as it were by eating horribly unhealthy fast food and taking a few road trips, I've been mostly cooking my own food, driving the absolute minimum amount possible, and going to one store one time a week. I've made a conscious decision to consume less than other people, and I'm carrying it out. This talk of "the stimulus package" seems ridiculous because it just encourages consumption, which in turn will only be a temporary solution to this economic crisis that this country is facing. My suggestions for fixing this economic problem (and let it be known that I'm not an economist or a politician): Get the fuck out of Iraq and Afghanistan (that'll save more than $1,000 per second). Stop all deficit spending (and hence get our debt out of foreign hands). Start the conversion to a renewable energy country and economy, thereby creating millions of jobs, both skilled and unskilled in the process.

UPDATE
My sentiments exactly:

(Image stolen from Jesus' General.)

UPDATE II

2008-01-30T09:01:00.000-05:00

Late last week the newspaper published a story that I wrote about some local establishments and their violations of the anti-smoking law here. Then yesterday I was out taking a picture of Joe Schriner (of all people) and doing some medical-related stuff, and I came back to find a letter lying on my desk. I am retyping it in its entirety, including the original italics and mistakes:

Mount Vernon News
P.O. Box 791
Mt. Vernon, Ohio 43050

Note supporting Mr. Burdette's article re: smoking complaints.

Dear Sir,

I want to commend you on a very well written article regarding this law, which has striking similarities to the ill-fated prohibition law. What is most disturbing is that Mr. Brian Bennick is compelled to respond to every anonymous complaint. It sounds like he would make a good Gestapo agent.

What would happen if some radical group targeted judges, police officers or politicians? What a mes our state legislators created here? What is the ACLU position on this travesty of civil rights? Is the subject still too politically incorrect?

I must commend those club owners for their stand in this matter. I am certainly confused in regards to the silence of those veteran organizations. Then, they were supposed to be exempt according to how the law was presented to the voters. If so, why did they post the "No Smoking Signs' on their building? Is there a swastika hidden in that sign?

.Thanks again for a well written article and to those that had the courage to contribute!

Respectfully yours,

-John C. Davidson

P.S. I know you are aware of the problems the Richland County Sheriff's department is having due to reacting to unreliable sources and tips. At least the Chief of the Mansfield Police had the good sense not to involve his officers in that mess. Unfortunately, many elected officials feel they are immune to criticism and the rights of those who elected them!

2008-01-29T09:55:00.000-05:00

I had my first potentially exciting assignment today! There was a crackle on the scanner that's in the newsroom, not too far from my desk. There were reports of a fire on the the southern side of town, and my editor said, "You aren't doing anything, are you Eric?" I grabbed a camera and notebook and hustled out to the car and got out into the street. I was headed down the road, about halfway around the block from the newspaper office, and my cell phone was ringing. It was my editor. "They've called it off," she said, "Come on back to the office." I'd seriously gotten halfway around the block when I got the call. So that was my first exciting assignment.

2008-01-27T01:45:00.000-05:00

This past week was a lot of late nights followed by early mornings. I'd try to sleep, and end up staying up till 1 a.m., only to wake up at 6 a.m. and then repeat the process. I did that for five days, and then on Friday night I felt exhausted at 8 p.m., but somehow kept myself awake until about 2 a.m., and then was woken up around 10 a.m. by a phone call from another country. Some of the friends called me from Vietnam. I spoke to old friends that lived in the same house, the same town, the same region where I lived up until about a month ago. I spoke Vietnamese for the first time since I've been back in Ohio, and it was strange doing it the first thing after waking up too. Those people that I talked to were my life not too long ago. A month ago I would've been with all of them at that table in the warm night air near the canal joking and smiling before getting on my motorbike and roaring home.

2008-01-23T00:10:00.000-05:00

Since this blog is kinda open-topic now, I'm posting this rant, completely unedited and devoid of punctuation:

I see the best minds of my generation destroyed their minds warped by greed their eyes void through their need for the next thing delivered from the goddess of lust and her fair husband power I see the best of my generation the eyes empty and lifeless the head in a puddle of slime while the torso and trunks lumber on towards the next neon sign offering instant updates and discounts and orgies and blood flowing through the sand I see the best minds of my generation listless and apathetic to this world the death doesn't matter as long as I can drive my pickup another 6,000 miles who knows how far a kilometer is my generation my people my comrades who feared not the reactions of others now only care about the newest conditioner and foaming body wash discount I see the best minds of this generation who refused any opiate of the masses now bow and prostrate and writhe in fear of the awesome power of mammon may he be praised in all his destructive power and glory my people have been blinded by the bright green light and are now having their flesh devoured by what they sought to console them I've done my singing I've tried my preaching I've railed I've used the best rhetoric I have I've tried and failed we are a lost generation a generation with souls containing no dust no ashes only blackness and no light a generation of emptiness and nothing a generation that is blind and will be forgotten a generation that has destroyed itself through apathy and avarice and cowardice I see the best of my kind float about lost and wandering they have no purpose yet create one in their cranium-centric heads we are lost to the critical winds of eternity for the haughtiness that we created I see the best minds of my generation hopeless because they have drained the hope they have whitewashed blackness from humanity and declared madness unconstitutional along with freedom of the mind where are our poets and prophets where are the mad philosophers and sad con men where are WE the best minds of my generation have left their passports of humanity before burning them with the green fires that have overtaken the beauty the resolve the essence that makes us be

2008-01-11T20:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I've applied for several jobs now, and even had an interview, but still I haven't heard anything back from anyone. I think it's the waiting that's getting to me. I just browse around on the internet, find a job that looks interesting/appealing, then fire off my resume to them and wait more and search more and contact a few more people that might be able to help me in some way. It's strange being at home with no vehicle to get me around, but it actually isn't that bad; there's plenty of food around here and I've only left the house once in the past week or so. It could be said that I'm lonely, but I don't really feel that way; just sometimes wondering what I'm doing here when I could get a job in a few minutes in Vietnam.

But I've been cooking up some strange stuff that doesn't taste too bad, and that I'm enjoying. I'm also liking all the reading that I'm able to catch up on while waiting, waiting for someone to contact me back with some glimmer of hope about a job.

2008-01-08T10:59:00.000-05:00

I was rooting through some old college papers and notes and stuff and came across some creative writing that I'd written all those years ago. So here's a couple little short things that I came up with (I'm not even sure when I originally wrote them).

The Romantic's Pledge of Allegiance

I pledge allegiance to myself,
And the individual who I am,
Unique, under many gods,
Promoting freedom and social justice for all.

Reflections on Reflections

Reflections are nothing,
simply the thought or false image
of something real in this world
and of this life which may not be reality,

just a dream taken seriously.

2008-01-04T10:25:00.000-05:00

I'm back in the land of snow. Here's hoping this year will be better than the last...

2007-12-30T08:44:00.000-05:00

Gah, it's cold. I feel a lot better than I did several days ago, but it's still cold for me. Not helping this is the fact that my room seems to be the furthest away from the furnace and the closest to the cold winds that blow by the house and whistle at my window.

Today, finally, I'm going to meet up with an old college friend and the following day hopefully more. It'll be good to get back and see all of these folks, many of which I can't remember saying goodbye to. It also is nice just to see people that you were close with during those formative and relatively carefree years when things were terrible and wonderful and we could always meet up in the cafeteria for lunch. But for the moment, I'm going to find something to keep my feet warm...

2007-12-23T17:02:00.000-05:00

I'm back in Ohio and it's cold. It was lightly snowing a couple hours ago but now it's stopped, and I think the wind has too. The wind is something that I just can't handle: it's SO cold. Even when the temperature isn't below freezing, the wind just sucks any heat out of me. All the trees and vegetation around the house appear completely dead and the wind whistles around the corners of the house.

The house. This home that hasn't really been my home ever. It wasn't completed until I had started college, and so I've lived here for a few summers, but that's all. Now I'm wondering what home really is... So far, no one has even asked about Vietnam or even seemed to notice that I've been gone for three years. I'm not sure what to make of that, but ostensibly it makes you feel like you're not the highest of value and that people didn't even notice that you were gone in the first place. Maybe it's just that people here have no frame of reference to go on, so they don't want to ask about a country that they know little about, or maybe they think that the easiest thing is just to pretend that I was never gone, or something like that. The base conversations and discussions about seemingly irrelevant topics is one thing that's starting to get on my nerves, but we'll see what happens within the next week or so.

Today I called several old college friends, and although I only talked to one person initially, most of them eventually called me back and some tentative plans to see them are being drawn up.

2007-12-17T22:04:00.000-05:00

I was an emotional farewell for me in Long Xuyen on Saturday. From about 8:30 a.m. until I left at 11 a.m. there were students either in my room or outside the guesthouse waiting for me. When I finally came down with all of my luggage and started to load it into the van, I saw that several students had tears in their eyes. Then several of them ran up to hug me, and this made me start crying as well. One other student of mine said he'd "hug the tears out of me," but this didn't work either. I'm surprised that I was able to leave at all...

Now I'm in HCMC and I just had my final interview/report with MCC, I have my ticket home, and students and people in Long Xuyen are still sending me text messages saying how much they miss me. Leaving Long Xuyen, and even thinking about it now, is like tearing a piece of something deep inside my gut out and throwing it away. It hurts. and I have to ask myself, is it really necessary? Sure, I'd like to go home to Ohio, but Long Xuyen is my home now, at least in my mind. I was talking to a friend the other day, and I had to mention that I have more friends in Long Xuyen than in Ohio, or even in America for that matter. Why? I'm not sure, but as it stands now, that is a fact.

Currently I leave Vietnam in two days.

Here's my last glimpse of the land of An Giang...

2007-12-14T02:40:00.000-05:00

I leave Long Xuyen tomorrow morning. My era is over.

2007-12-11T11:34:00.000-05:00

Buong has been my companion for nearly 2.5 years now. (Buong means "stubborn" in Vietnamese, but sometimes I refer to him as "Buongy" or "Buongster" or "Buongomatic"). He's always been there for me and now, since I've had my suitcases out around the room, he's been acting differently. He seems to be more affectionate now, like sleeping with his head on my arm when I'm lying in bed. I'm gonna miss this little guy so much. He is always there for me when I get home from work, every day.

2007-12-11T00:41:00.006-05:00

I finished up one of my classes this morning and quite unexpectedly was invited to coffee by some fourth-year students. They had heard (as everyone has) that I was leaving Long Xuyen on Saturday and wanted to take me out for a quick coffee near the university. I was reminded by these students, who are now seniors, that they were my very first students at AGU. I started teaching them in January, 2005 when I really didn't know what I was doing and didn't know anything about life in Vietnam. But it was nice to see them and they wished me well in my future.

I've started the process of packing my life into two suitcases, and so far I've just packed stuff like books, CDs, pictures, and other kinds of souvenirs. No clothes or anything else that might be considered essential. I'm just trying to get all of these memories crammed into two suitcases. It's a very strange process for me...

2007-12-07T04:15:00.000-05:00

This is my favorite welcome sign for Long Xuyen. It's on a smaller road that leads out into one of the districts; a road that not many foreigners would travel on. The other signs on the bigger roads with more traffic have been replaced with bright pictures and English translations, but this one is still my favorite. It's a few kilometers from AGU and the paint on it is peeling. The literal translation is: "The City of Long Xuyen Welcomes its Honored Guests"

I went out for a short cruise around some parts of Long Xuyen around lunchtime to some of the places where they are currently building/developing. I went to check the progress of the new campus of the university and saw that they are starting to build a new story on what will soon be the new administration buildings.

This whole area where these building are being constructed used to be full of grass taller than me and water buffaloes grazing.

Around this area was the deserted road where I first learned to drive a motorbike, but now is becoming ever-more developed with the university building and housing development nearby.

Also, where the road used to dead-end into a rice paddy, it now continues into a housing development.

The changes that have happened over the past three years in the area amaze me...

2007-12-05T22:33:00.000-05:00

The weather is still nice and cool in Long Xuyen and the sunshine is warm and actually feels good instead of burning/scorching the skin. Last night a Dutch man who's living in town organized a St. Nickolaus Day party and there was lots of good food and opening of presents, etc, and then it started to rain on us and we all took shelter under a small roof. It was a good evening, but I was exhausted and went to bed early and then woke up earlier than usual in order to teach an extra class in the morning. Then, after finishing that particular class (a discussion of Huckleberry Finn), a student from another class ran up to me and asked me to teach an extra class in the afternoon. All this teaching of extra classes is so that hopefully everyone can finish early, benefiting the students so they have more time to study for exams, and benefiting teachers with extra time off (or in my case, time to pack to head for home). So I've got an unusually busy afternoon ahead, but nothing I can't handle.

2007-12-03T05:28:00.000-05:00

Today marks three years since I arrived in Vietnam. Three years. Yep, I've been in this country, calling Long Xuyen my home, for three years now. I'm extremely busy at the moment, trying to finish teaching, write final exams, and say goodbye to all of the friends that I've made over the years. As a matter of fact, I have to run to another meal in a few minutes because a friend of mine is cooking spaghetti.

I don't even have that much time to contemplate that I've been here all this time. When I started working here I wasn't even sure that I'd be here for a complete three years, now I realize that I'm one of the few volunteers to remain here for this amount of time without ever having gone home, or to another Western country for that matter. Yeah, at this point Long Xuyen is my home, and that's going to lead to problems when I'm back in Ohio and struggling to remember why I'm back there. But for now I have to put those thoughts out of my mind and have fun during my final 2 weeks and 3 days in Vietnam...

2007-11-26T09:24:00.000-05:00

Impressions of driving (soon to be forgotten).

My students told me it was cold, and yeah, the air was slightly cooler than usual, but then again it was 8:30 in the evening and my shirt was made out of thin fabric. There were the occasional horn beeps as usual, and I made a left turn through an intersection without too much hesitation, and that bumped up my spirits just a tiny bit. Crossing the bridge I noticed that the water level was high and I looked left and saw the moon through wispy clouds. And then there was a person cooking something on the sidewalk and the smoke was billowing through another intersection, and it smelled like they were cooking pork, but I wasn't sure. I went down a narrow street and there was a teenager running against traffic; I always wonder why people here run in the streets... most likely because there aren't many other places to run I guess. I got through the big square without hitting the brakes, which is always a nice feeling, and saw the people on the sidewalk eating various types of snacks and then turned right. I looked into my friend's family's shop, but didn't see him and then stopped at a light and then when it was green gunned my way through the intersection, while making over-exaggerated moves to indicate which side of opposing motorbikes I was going to drive by. I glanced to my left and fiddled with the clutch, gears, brakes, and throttle as I went through the big roundabout, and then looked to my right and dodged traffic coming from that direction before I was through it. Then I turned and was on a smaller road and the people riding and walking around were younger. I went straight past a cart selling boiled corn that I can't eat because I've been spoiled by sweet corn my whole life. And then I was on a dirt and gravel bumpy road before going through the gate and winding around the campus and parking in the garage. Finally, inside my room, there weren't other people around, and my cat wanted to see me.

2007-11-21T00:09:00.000-05:00

It's a breezy and sunny day here in Long Xuyen. Whenever it's windy in town it seems to completely change the place. In some respects it's quite refreshing, and in other areas the wind kicks up dust that gets into your eyes or blows the scent of some garbage towards you. But it's nice to see the tree branches waving outside the office window.

In 29 days I'll be on the plane home, and already the Foreign Language Department has organized a farewell party for me, and I've organized one of my own involving more people from the community. Three years ago I was finishing up my second round of farewells at home (due to a delayed visa) and preparing to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. Now I'm trying to imagine life away from Long Xuyen. Last night I went out to dinner with an older Australian man who's been working in Long Xuyen for the past five years. When he learned that I was going home, he said, "I thought you were here for life."

However, yesterday I learned that Will and Michelle, the two VIA volunteers that arrived here in late August, will be leaving Vietnam due to health problems. They've been in Ho Chi Minh City for the past several weeks visiting doctors, but I guess eventually it was just too much for them, and I don't blame them. AGU is going to be quite pressed next semester to find enough teachers, because I will be gone (an interim replacement might be in the works, but I think it'd be too late for me to overlap with them), Lillian is leaving in February, and now Will and Michelle are also no longer here. However, AGU is partially culpable in their departure because when they first arrived there was a changeover in leadership in our department, and because of this it led to scheduling and other problems that created stress for first-time teachers. When I arrived here I was lucky to be in the company of other volunteers for about six months; volunteers who were just finishing extended stays in Long Xuyen. I think that after this next summer, it will be a completely clean slate in terms of foreign volunteers here; there will be no one overlapping which will make it more difficult for future volunteers to learn about the university, the city, the country and the culture.

2007-11-19T23:13:00.001-05:00

It's 11:14 a.m. on Teacher's Day and I've received perhaps 20 text messages, mostly from students, but also from some other teachers at AGU. All of these messages contain wishes of good luck, happiness, success, etc. (As a matter of fact, I just received a message as I was typing that last sentence: "I wish you a happy teacher's day and more success in your life"). It's nice to hear that coming from students, some of which I haven't seen for six months or more.

And last night was my final performance at AGU. Lillian, Jenna, Minh and I performed "The Weight" by the band. Our first performance was on Sunday evening, and we "passed" that round and were told that we would perform it again on Monday evening. Although I'm sure that very few people understood the lyrics, and much less the symbolism of them, I hope we made an impact with our costumes and harmonies.

The last performance.

2007-11-12T23:17:00.000-05:00

This could very well be life in a microcosm: nothing is permanent. I look around this room, this house, this university, this town that has been my home for nearly three years and realize that it's going to vanish soon and I'll be back in middle America trying to survive the freezing weather and the society and culture that I decided I needed a break from such a long time ago. But things are going fine in my time of nearly no teaching. I'm getting little bits of work done that I should've finished ages ago but didn't and treating time with friends as ever more valuable.

However, in health-related news things aren't going so well. Michelle, one of the volunteers that arrived in late August, has been sick in Ho Chi Minh City for the past week and has been diagnosed with pneumonia and an inflamed appendix. She has to stay in the city for another week in order to make sure she's completely recovered before returning to Long Xuyen. And over the past week there were reports of a Cholera outbreak in the northern provinces of Vietnam. I didn't think twice about it, but now I've heard that's been reported in Ho Chi Minh City, and just this morning I heard that five people here in Long Xuyen had been hospitalized with stomach/digestive track illnesses. So, not very good news in those areas.

When I first came to Vietnam, in 2003, SARS was the threat. From 2004 through this year, avian influenza was the threat. Cholera seems mild compared to the previous diseases, but all the same, I'm going to take precautions about what I eat for the next week or so.

2007-11-04T21:44:00.000-05:00

It's been cool for the past few days. Tyler tells me that it's raining and flooding and cold in Hue, so I'll say that Long Xuyen is being affected by that same weather system. The sounds of students preparing their performances for Teachers Day are constantly around campus, even though the day itself is still nearly three weeks away. I've decided since I'm not teaching any classes, I need to work on scheduling for my remaining classes once they resume at the end of this month. Also, I'll need to spend a significant amount of time working with IC3 materials, such as working with test results, administering tests, and organizing some feedback from the students themselves. It's going to be a month with less work, but I'll still manage to stay busy with various things, one of which will be visiting friends.

2007-10-31T21:53:00.001-04:00

"He not busy being born is busy dying..."

And that's what my remaining time in Vietnam is continually doing now: dying. Seven weeks from today I'll be flying out of this country into some unknown future. I had a quick breakfast with a couple colleagues and they were asking when I'd go home, and when one of them learned that it'd be before Christmas, he told me that the People's Committee wanted to present gifts to the foreigners for Christmas. And then he said to let him know if I got married in America, but he didn't think he could attend my wedding. It was touching to hear.

This past weekend I went to one of the most beautiful places in An Giang. It's an ecological park not to far from the border with Cambodia. I went with two of the people that I first met on Christmas day, 2004, and therefore some of my oldest friends here in Vietnam.

On the left and right are Mr. Pha and Mr. Trang, respectively, the guys that I met on Christmas day several years ago. In the middle is Mr. Tam, a former student of mine. Mr. Pha is the vice-director of the provincial Department of Agriculture and Rural Development, Mr. Tam works at the Irrigation Management Center in Long Xuyen, and Mr. Trang is the Chief Economic Officer for the province.

We traveled through most of the preserve in small boats and in some places where the water was still, it was covered with these green floating plants, which I've since learned are "duckweed" in English. Sometimes the stuff we were looking at really didn't seem real because it was so beautiful and also strange and different (at least to me) at the same time.

However, some of the best scenery at the preserve was from the observation tower in the center of the preserve. We had a 360-degree view of the mangrove forests below and of the mountains in the distance. By far some of the most beautiful scenery that I've encountered in Vietnam, or perhaps the world.

2007-10-25T03:33:00.000-04:00

It's a drizzly day here in Long Xuyen. It makes for cooler weather though, which I can't complain about. Throughout this week I've trying to hang out with my friends that I've made here over the years. My remaining time here is quickly dwindling and even if I start now, I don't think I could ever spend a decent amount of time with all of my friends in this little city. Classes are still going fairly well, and in two more weeks (starting on November 5th), I will basically have no teaching responsibilities because my students will be away completing their high school classroom observation. I'm going to visit Tyler in Hue during that time, and that will most likely be my final trip in Vietnam.

There's not too much worthy of being written about now. Classes and extra-curricular activities are going along relatively okay and time and life is floating smoothly by.

And just for fun...

Me and Buong...

2007-10-16T22:50:00.000-04:00

Some random things on my desk at 9:50 a.m. on Wednesday, October 17th, 2007 (from left to right, and by no means all-inclusive).

-A tape dispenser
-A menu from a pizza restaurant in Ho Chi Minh City
-A pocket calender (I'd be lost without it)
-A 2000 Dong note (about 12.5 cents)
-My university ID badge
-A piece of paper with a German phrase on it
-Guitar strings
-A postcard from Switzerland
-A small bust of Ho Chi Minh
-A receipt from the motorbike repair shop
-An old wedding invitation
-A pen holder from a friend
-A pen holder from a student
-A miniature statue of Jesus (a replica of the one in Vung Tau)
-A business-card holder from Malaysia (given to me by a student)
-Five dictionaries and one phrasebook